What's up, Beautiful People!

What makes a dog a dog? What makes anything that thing? How much of myself could I change and still remain me? I've often wondered about this, so I decided to finally write about it!

What does it mean when someone says “you’ve changed”? are they referring to a difference in accidental properties such as a dramatic weight loss or even less concrete properties like what I believe and how I respond to different situations. Or maybe they’re referring to something even less substantial and harder to pinpoint, but clearly unmistakable. If so, what is that thing that makes me me and you you? At what point would a change be so drastic that I cease being me and become someone else?

If a friend changes over time to someone radically different from the person you became friends with, do you have an obligation to remain friends with them? It might seem like a trivial matter to consider, but being friends with someone involves important intangible attributes like loyalty. Should I remain loyal to someone even though they are not the same person I became friends with in the first place? But what MAKES them DIFFERENT? Physically, they still look the same, they still answer to the same name and have the same genetic make-up (not that I’m checking because that would be creepy). For all intents and purposes, they are still the same person. But, it seems, their ideologies have changed or maybe not. They don’t believe the same things they once did and don’t respond in the same way they once did or maybe they do... But if I choose to withhold my loyalty because their ESSENCE has changed, then was I friends with a person or with an essence—an idea of a person? If so, did they ever really hold my loyalty? what type of friend was I in the first place?

Now consider the same problem in a marriage. Marriages aren't as fickle as friendships, or at least they're not supposed to be. Its not something you can just up and walk away from. Are you obligated to remain married to someone who is so drastically different that they aren’t really the same person you married? It's important to note at this point that I’m not necessarily referring to changes for the worse. For example, if your significant other slowly becomes violent or unfaithful then leaving that type of marriage isn't a question. I'm referring instead to changes that aren't themselves bad, just different. When you married this person, you married them because of who they were. You married Adam because he was Adam. You didn’t marry Jack or John or Bojangles, not that there was anything wrong with any of those people. They just weren’t Adam. Now 4 years later, Adam isn’t the same Adam you married. Would it be breaking your vows to want to neutralize the marriage, after all, you vowed to love and cherish Adam, but you don’t believe Adam is there anymore. So did you really love Adam, or the ESSENCE of him? What made Adam Adam and what made him different from Bojangles?

There are so many different types of dogs--some are fat and short, some are tall and skinny. Some look like sweethearts and some look like their teeth could cut right into your soul. But at what point does a dog cease being a dog and become something else. If my definition of you is one thing and you change, have you really changed? and at what point are you not the same person I knew?

Leave a comment below, let's talk about identity

Shine bright.