BEEFING FORGIVENESS, RANT #1

12:45 PM Unknown 11 Comments

What's up, beautiful people!

Yes, you read that right. I'm currently in the middle of a beef with the concept of forgiveness. Although I'm not exactly sure how to have an abstract feud with an unquantifiable idea, I'm willing to take on the challenge! See, I was going to do a fluff piece on the weather or something, you know, reel you in slowly. But I was just watching Glee- yes I'm a proud gleek- when I became inexplicably enraged by this one scene (Not going to go into details. Who do you think I am, a spoiler? Never.)

Now I don't know about you, but there have been many times in my life when I was expected to just forgive, even the most ridiculous people. I believe the phrase I was beaten over the head with, and so were many others, was 'forgive and forget.' When I was younger, I looked upon the forgiveness part as a mandate from heaven, but could never quite manage the forgetting part. Even then, it seemed like a tall order. How do I erase my memory of how your betrayal made me feel like if you dropped me in an ocean, I would sink to its floor because of the lead in my chest? Yet I tried... and failed. Repeatedly.

Okay, I get it! 'Forgiving will also set you free,'
'If you jumped off Aso Rock, you will land on your feet like a cat. Such is the power of forgiveness,'
'You can even cure cancer if you just focus all that forgiving power like a laser.'

A reasonable person would tell you that if you were able to put yourself in the shoes of someone who has hurt you, chances are that you would find that you will make the same choices they did. Learning to look past a person's weaknesses, and focus on their strengths is a sign of growing up. Recognizing that the person lashing out at you is only a mirage of the frightened, furious, and dissatisfied child they most likely once were, is the mark of a 'bigger person.' But sometimes, I don't want to be the bigger person. Why do I always have to be the bigger person?

In order not to sound like an angry old person, this would be the part where I point out that by betrayal I mean a life changing, destiny derailing altercation. But I'm not going to. Because I also mean the 'little things,' like someone cutting in front of you while waiting in line as if their time is more precious than yours, or someone taking your last sachet of peak milk when they know you won't be able to get any more for at least another 3 months. I don't want to forgive. What I want is for you to get the hell out of my way. What I want is my bloody Peak milk back. Yet I find myself saying "It's okay. I haven't been waiting that long anyway..."

What's worse is when people try to make it sound like it's their prerogative to be forgiven, or when third party bystanders chime in their unwarranted advice like 'just forgive her now...'
Even if I was a person predisposed to forgiveness, I'd still need time to mean it, I imagine.

Which is, I think, the point of this entire rant. People need time to heal. I know of the virtues of forgiveness, and I'm in no way implying that you shouldn't forgive; however, just as is the case with any good deed, forgiveness is hard. Expecting to be forgiven any sooner than the person you've hurt is willing, is selfish. I would know because I am predisposed to forgiveness, except when someone is trying to rush my process to assuage their guilt. It's the forgetting part, I haven't quite managed...




My first rant! I feel like J Trump!
Leave a comment below, let's talk about forgiveness