BEEFING WITH IDENTITY

What's up, Beautiful People!

What makes a dog a dog? What makes anything that thing? How much of myself could I change and still remain me? I've often wondered about this, so I decided to finally write about it!

What does it mean when someone says “you’ve changed”? are they referring to a difference in accidental properties such as a dramatic weight loss or even less concrete properties like what I believe and how I respond to different situations. Or maybe they’re referring to something even less substantial and harder to pinpoint, but clearly unmistakable. If so, what is that thing that makes me me and you you? At what point would a change be so drastic that I cease being me and become someone else?

If a friend changes over time to someone radically different from the person you became friends with, do you have an obligation to remain friends with them? It might seem like a trivial matter to consider, but being friends with someone involves important intangible attributes like loyalty. Should I remain loyal to someone even though they are not the same person I became friends with in the first place? But what MAKES them DIFFERENT? Physically, they still look the same, they still answer to the same name and have the same genetic make-up (not that I’m checking because that would be creepy). For all intents and purposes, they are still the same person. But, it seems, their ideologies have changed or maybe not. They don’t believe the same things they once did and don’t respond in the same way they once did or maybe they do... But if I choose to withhold my loyalty because their ESSENCE has changed, then was I friends with a person or with an essence—an idea of a person? If so, did they ever really hold my loyalty? what type of friend was I in the first place?

Now consider the same problem in a marriage. Marriages aren't as fickle as friendships, or at least they're not supposed to be. Its not something you can just up and walk away from. Are you obligated to remain married to someone who is so drastically different that they aren’t really the same person you married? It's important to note at this point that I’m not necessarily referring to changes for the worse. For example, if your significant other slowly becomes violent or unfaithful then leaving that type of marriage isn't a question. I'm referring instead to changes that aren't themselves bad, just different. When you married this person, you married them because of who they were. You married Adam because he was Adam. You didn’t marry Jack or John or Bojangles, not that there was anything wrong with any of those people. They just weren’t Adam. Now 4 years later, Adam isn’t the same Adam you married. Would it be breaking your vows to want to neutralize the marriage, after all, you vowed to love and cherish Adam, but you don’t believe Adam is there anymore. So did you really love Adam, or the ESSENCE of him? What made Adam Adam and what made him different from Bojangles?

There are so many different types of dogs--some are fat and short, some are tall and skinny. Some look like sweethearts and some look like their teeth could cut right into your soul. But at what point does a dog cease being a dog and become something else. If my definition of you is one thing and you change, have you really changed? and at what point are you not the same person I knew?


Leave a comment below, let's talk about identity

Shine bright.



I'VE MISSED YOU

What's up, Beautiful People!

So it's been almost 2 years since I posted anything. I apologize. I wish I could offer an explanation, but the truth is that I got lazy. Before I continue, I'd just like to offer a disclaimer since it has been 2 years since I posted. So, if this is your first time here please read 'Hey There!', my very first blog post, in which I offer my reasons for doing what I do and a detailed disclaimer about how I do what I do.(P.S. I tried to hyperlink the ''Hey There!'' but I didn't know how so you're just going to have to find it yourself (*LOLing in ignorance))

As I was saying, I got lazy. Then I felt ashamed, and before I knew it, I was spiraling down a hole of self-deprecation. I didn't think anyone would be interested in what I had to say and I used that to justify my lack of motivation. However, one year and 8 months later I've finally decided to say what I have to say and let whether anyone reads this be a secondary reason to say it.

A quick rundown of the things that have happened since I last wrote: I started my junior year in college, Donald Trump became president and I stopped believing in merit, I studied for and took the MCAT, I started my senior year in college, I stopped believing in God and began an age of darkness, I went on interviews for med school, I got accepted into med school, I went to Nigeria for Christmas, I started believing in God again, and I began my final semester of college.

In other words, it's been a somewhat eventful past year and a half and I look forward to telling you all about it.

If there's anything in particular you would like to ask me or that you would like me to address, leave it in the comments below!



Shine Bright

BEEFING FORGIVENESS, RANT #1

What's up, beautiful people!

Yes, you read that right. I'm currently in the middle of a beef with the concept of forgiveness. Although I'm not exactly sure how to have an abstract feud with an unquantifiable idea, I'm willing to take on the challenge! See, I was going to do a fluff piece on the weather or something, you know, reel you in slowly. But I was just watching Glee- yes I'm a proud gleek- when I became inexplicably enraged by this one scene (Not going to go into details. Who do you think I am, a spoiler? Never.)

Now I don't know about you, but there have been many times in my life when I was expected to just forgive, even the most ridiculous people. I believe the phrase I was beaten over the head with, and so were many others, was 'forgive and forget.' When I was younger, I looked upon the forgiveness part as a mandate from heaven, but could never quite manage the forgetting part. Even then, it seemed like a tall order. How do I erase my memory of how your betrayal made me feel like if you dropped me in an ocean, I would sink to its floor because of the lead in my chest? Yet I tried... and failed. Repeatedly.

Okay, I get it! 'Forgiving will also set you free,'
'If you jumped off Aso Rock, you will land on your feet like a cat. Such is the power of forgiveness,'
'You can even cure cancer if you just focus all that forgiving power like a laser.'

A reasonable person would tell you that if you were able to put yourself in the shoes of someone who has hurt you, chances are that you would find that you will make the same choices they did. Learning to look past a person's weaknesses, and focus on their strengths is a sign of growing up. Recognizing that the person lashing out at you is only a mirage of the frightened, furious, and dissatisfied child they most likely once were, is the mark of a 'bigger person.' But sometimes, I don't want to be the bigger person. Why do I always have to be the bigger person?

In order not to sound like an angry old person, this would be the part where I point out that by betrayal I mean a life changing, destiny derailing altercation. But I'm not going to. Because I also mean the 'little things,' like someone cutting in front of you while waiting in line as if their time is more precious than yours, or someone taking your last sachet of peak milk when they know you won't be able to get any more for at least another 3 months. I don't want to forgive. What I want is for you to get the hell out of my way. What I want is my bloody Peak milk back. Yet I find myself saying "It's okay. I haven't been waiting that long anyway..."

What's worse is when people try to make it sound like it's their prerogative to be forgiven, or when third party bystanders chime in their unwarranted advice like 'just forgive her now...'
Even if I was a person predisposed to forgiveness, I'd still need time to mean it, I imagine.

Which is, I think, the point of this entire rant. People need time to heal. I know of the virtues of forgiveness, and I'm in no way implying that you shouldn't forgive; however, just as is the case with any good deed, forgiveness is hard. Expecting to be forgiven any sooner than the person you've hurt is willing, is selfish. I would know because I am predisposed to forgiveness, except when someone is trying to rush my process to assuage their guilt. It's the forgetting part, I haven't quite managed...




My first rant! I feel like J Trump!
Leave a comment below, let's talk about forgiveness

















HEY THERE!

What's up, beautiful people!

I can't believe I've finally created a blog! I've wanted to do this for years, but wasn't sure whether I was doing it because I had a message- several messages, I've come to realize- or because a lot of my friends, and hot people, all seemed to have blogs. However, I've decided that whatever the reason, I'm going to shove my thoughts and opinions down your throats... I'm kidding, I won't shove; it'll be more like a gentle nudge, a caress even. Yes, I'm talking about caressing your throat, but if you keep an open mind, you'll find that a throat caress isn't as bad as it sounds! Ever notice how attractive people all seem to have a platform? Interesting... Maybe I decided to start a blog in the hope that I might magically drop a few pounds, but I digress...


My hope
My hope is that you might find whatever it is that you're searching for hidden amidst my words. I hope I speak a truth, mine or yours, so that at least one of us finds meaning in these future pieces. Let's, you and I go on a journey together, exploring our world, deconstructing sociability, and making sense of our interactions with man, beast, and green. At the very least, I will grow as a person, and so will you. At 'some arbitrary point between least and most' I will make some cash, and you will have helped me do it. At the most, Adele will somehow stumble upon my blog, and want so desperately to meet me, in which case I would probably s**t myself.

Now, as a disclaimer for future complaints about content and biased opinion, this will not be a news blog. I mean, I will lean in favor of a side, when there are two or more opposing ideas, and I will be blatant about it when I feel I have to be, or when the spirit moves me. This is because I don't believe in unbiased reporting. If you think a reporter/ blogger has no prejudice, then it's because your prejudices and theirs align.

Also, from time to time, my blogs might be peppered with a few non-PG words and phrases, used to convey deep-seated rage, or angst... or because I have a sailor's mouth. I implore you to read those posts like you would observe a painting or prime photograph. Read it like it is the glue that holds the piece together because I will be writing it as such(P.S. I am in no way insinuating that my writing is art. That would be obnoxious and untrue!)
Lastly, I am a metaphorical person. I don't mean that literally because that would make me a description, not the point, and I'm not just a description, at least I hope I'm not. No, it means the best way I know how to convey a thought is through metaphors, especially of the extended variety. So if I describe the sun as 'a fiery, pressurized inferno, sapping humanity's life pool by milking the dew from our God-given overcoats...' don't be alarmed. Nah, I'm not that dramatic, but maybe every once in a while ;) 


Maybe No one else but me will ever see my blogs. Maybe I'm talking to myself. 
...Every word stands as is.

Are you ready? I am
I look forward to sharing my thoughts with you.
Shine Bright.